Teacher Estrella

Confession

2008-12-18T20:52:00.000-08:00

Yes, I am now on "Facebook"...and I really, really, really like it! But I don't want to delete my blog.

I find that there are times when life is so hectic that it's just easier to share short, quick, little snippets of life on Facebook- but not all my friends are there.

And yet, there are times, when I need to write long- think my thoughts out detail by detail. So, of course, I "blog".

I've met many great friends here...friends that I cherish and hope to meet one day. I miss you! I truly do...always wishing you the best!

* * * * * * * * *

My sister, Martha, has been recuperating from her fracture at my home. We are now going on month #5 since her "fall"- she now is practicing how to use a cane, but still can not go up those few steps into her house. I don't want her to go home! I want her to stay with me at my house. I like having my sister here with me...she's my friend! Yes, I told her...and she "rolled" her eyes at me. Yes, I know...eventually, when she's "ready", she needs to go back to her home.

* * * * * * * * * * *

My aunt (85 year old) spent last week in the hospital...apparently she had suffered a very slight stroke and therefore she was "sluggish", sleepy, and quiet- which is NOT her ussual self! She is now in a Nursing Home receiving physical therapy 2x a day...she's fine, thank God. Oh, and enjoying the "eye candy"!! Let me say that she has become BOLD!! She knows what she wants, and goes for it (them!)!! She likes them young and nice looking...and she even tries to kiss them!! I hope that they don't sue for sexual harassment! (she'll be returning to the board & care home soon)

I pray for wisdom...
that I may know how best to help her
that I make the best decisions on her behalf
and that I may be able to protect her.

I've been asked several times at the Nursing Home if my aunt is my mom...and I cry. She has always lived with my family- ever since I was 4 years old! I do love her.

* * * * * * * * * *

Join Facebook...
and invite me to be your friend ; )
msestrelladuran@yahoo.com
i've posted many pictures there ; )
but yes, you have to join in order to see my page

Bolita Duran (mar '05 - nov '08)

2008-11-26T15:00:00.000-08:00

I want to share with you a few of Boli's baby pictures...

this picture was taken at home (by me)...

blankie was made for Boli by a very dear friend of mine

she loved balls!!

she would bark at them, hoping that they would respond...

and then would run home with them! ; )

resting after a walk in the neighborhood...

she loved my husband best of all...

Our house seems empty with out her...

and our hearts are in pain...

Boli brought much joy and laughter into our lives-

for this we are thankful.

She's on fire!!

2008-11-18T15:12:00.000-08:00

My aunt and those men in uniform- firemen!!
I'd be smiling too ; )

Respondele a Obama! *Salsa Music : )

2008-10-26T11:09:00.000-07:00

Something to help get you into the mood for VOTING!
Enjoy the music...and Obamanos!
*English subtitles

Oh, Coco!!

2008-10-23T16:16:00.000-07:00

*it takes a few minutes to download, but it's worth it...ENJOY!

Please...VOTE!!

What a mess!

2008-10-06T17:58:00.000-07:00

Oh, what tangled web we (they!) weave...*sigh

Bureaucracy!!
My god- it is such a headache dealing with them!
And then they don't give you an exact answer to your question...huh?!
Ok, I'm not "dense"...explain, and I will listen and (yes) question after the information is given.

What am I talking about?
My aunt's October Social Security check got sent to the nursing home...
she was discharged from the nursing home on August 30th!!

To make a long story short-
the nursing home blames Social Security,
and Social Security blames the nursing home.

All my paperwork (nurising home discharge letter, and doctor's letter stating my aunt's mental capability, discharge from nurisng home, and follow up visit to his office) was presented to Social Security. Now the waiting game begins...

Home Computer- is dead!

2008-10-03T15:18:00.000-07:00

We are currently without a home computer...

"life" is going well : )
feeling FRAZZLED, though.
too many NEW ideas from the NEW administrators...

i miss visiting my friends!
stay well!!
i hope to visit SOON!!
(or whenever i have access to a computer!)

New School Year

2008-09-25T14:48:00.000-07:00

Each new school year, brings new beginnings...
As teachers, we set new goals for ourselves and for our students.
Hoping that what we teach,
helps the young mind go beyond that what they thought was impossible.

The following link was passed onto me a few weeks ago...
please open, and also "believe".
Do you believe?

I'm back...

2008-09-21T19:16:00.000-07:00

This past month has been BUSY!!

The first month of school is always chaotic, and this year was no different.

However, "life" is calming down a bit...which is good news!

My sister's femur is healing...hallelujah!! Her ortho dr. want,s her to start using her toes!! Hopefully, in a few more weeks, she'll be able to put 40% -50% of her weight on the leg...god, I hope so!

I've come to the realisation that I am my "brother's keeper"- well, in this case, my "sister's keeper"... Growing up, my mom would tell both my sister and I to get along with each other, and to take care of one another- that it was just the two of us! "Life"!! Many years later, my sister and I are friends...and I am taking care of her- out of love for her. My mom, I'm sure, is happy that her words did not fall on deaf ears.

*My mom's 1st year anniversary was yesterday...

**my sister feels that i should've gone into nursing, and not teaching...funny thing is that she's not only one who has said this, though. i'll post on this later.

My Aunt...Update

2008-09-10T07:06:00.000-07:00

My "Tia Elena" is doing well. She is happy, healthy, and radiant! She feels so good, that she even flirts with 2 of the male caregivers!!
I am thankful that this is a loving and safe environment for her...

*pictures were taken on Sept 6, 2008- Hula Birthday Party for Al resident at board/ care facility where my aunt lives

*gentleman to the left of my tia elena is Al- he turned 93!!

Anything Else?

2008-08-17T20:04:00.000-07:00

My (85 year old/dementia) aunt is in the hospital. Yes, the aunt that just this week entered a Residential Board & Care Facility...

I've had no rest! Just when I thought things were falling into place, and life was a little less stressful- WHAM!! Stress.

She has a "urinary tract" infection (UTI), but because of her age, her body can't fight infections very well. Thankfully, she is responding well to antibiotics, and so far ALL her tests have come back "negative"!! YAY!! They are, though, testing her Carotid Artery tomorrow.

She is NOT diabetic, nor does she have High Blood Pressure, or High Cholesterol...and her heart (EKG) is fine. Her doctors and nurses can't believe it (nor can we)- the ONLY meds she takes are for anxiety, and for sleep. That's it!!

How did she do it? "Healthy" habits? No! She started smoking at a very young age, and never liked or ate "healthy" - good for you foods!! A mystery. We, her family, are in awe of her good health despite her dementia.

Up-Date

2008-08-13T22:29:00.000-07:00

Where to begin...
the stress, pain, tears, sleepless nights, anguish, guilt, fear, desperation, prayer, and hope. family, friends, support, hugs, prayers, blessings, faith, and love.

My sister is still in the hospital, but doing so much better...
She's getting stronger, and learning how to move so that she doesn't put pressure on her broken femur.

Last night I told my sister that upon leaving the hospital she would be going to my home until she was ready to be on her own...she didn't respond, she just stared at me not knowing what to say. "We'll talk about this later", I said, and moved onto another subject matter of interest- our aunt.

My Tia Elena is now in a residential board & care facility near my home...
I miss her terribly, but I know that this is what is best for her as well as for us at this time.

The caregivers at this home have various activities through out the day for the clients to participate in- morning exercises, karoke, puzzles, and bingo to mention a few. And every Tuesday is "field trip" day!! How fun!! They don't go very far, but still...it's an outing!! It may be only to Wal-Mart, but it's an "outing"!!

Knowing that she is well, and enjoying the company of her new housemates (and caregivers) gives me "peace" of mind. As long as she is happy, so am I. I want only what is best for her.

On a separate note-
Tomorrow is the last day of my writing workshop.
I learned that I am not a reluctant learner...
and that I can actually learn to be a writer.
I also realized that I enjoy writing : )
Hmmm, therefore, I blog : )

So now...
one of my goals as a teacher is to teach my students how to be "writers".

Out...for the time being

2008-07-31T07:51:00.000-07:00

I'm a little busy at the moment...
1. my sister has fractured her femur (open compound fracture) thus needing surgery. she is currently in the hospital and from there, will be going to a convalescent nursing care facility for a few months in order to recover and receive physical therapy on a daily basis. *she is NOT to put any pressure on her fractured leg until the bone heals. (in her case, hopefully, 8 -10 weeks)

2. i am trying to find a "home" for my (85 year old) aunt. once i get back to work, there will be no one available to care for her at my sister's home. (aunt lives with my sister) asking family members to help with the daily care giving is out of the question.

I am not leaving the blogging world...
but I don't have the time to "blog" at this moment.

I will, though, visit you (your blog) whenever I get a chance.

Thursdays...in the Summer

2008-07-23T12:08:00.000-07:00

Let's see...
This summer we've had a bar-b-que at Debbie's, lunch at Val's Hamburgers (city landmark), a lesson on how to play poker, and tomorrow we're singing along with Meryl Streep (Mama Mia!)!!

I LOVE Thursdays in the summer!

My ME Mosaic

2008-07-19T17:55:00.000-07:00

I saw this at Warm Fuzzies'...and am, of course, borrowing it!

*feel free to borrow

The rules:

1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
2. Use only the first page of results and select one image.
3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into Big Huge Lab’s Mosaic Maker to create a mosaic of your picture answers.

4. Download mosaic onto your post.

The questions:

1. What is your first name?

2. What is (currently) your favorite food?

3. What high school did you go to?

4. What is your favorite color?

5. Who is your celebrity crush?

6. What is your favorite drink?

7. What is your dream vacation?

8. What is your favorite dessert?

9. What do/did you want to be when you grow up?

10. What do you love most in life?

11. What is one word that describes you?

12. What is your user name?

The Answers: (just in case the picture is not enough of a clue)

1. Maria

2. Mole Poblano

3. James Logan High School

4. Bright Bold Jewel Colored Tones

5. Jaime Camil

6. Non Fat Latte (coffee)

7. Venice, Italy

8. Tiramisu

9. Teacher

10. Family

11. Contemplative

12. Coco

Mad Men!

2008-07-16T12:30:00.000-07:00

I am so hooked!! (addicted would be the correct word, though)
I want more, more, and MORE!

Of what you ask?...Mad Men, of course!
I just finished seeing Season 1 of Mad Men (commercial free!)...WOW!!
Where else are you going to find handsome, well dressed men (and women) with big egos and a ferrocious appetite for sex?! Mad Men!! Oh yes, the drama, the lies, the secrets, and the sex...the intrigue!

I am ready for Season 2...Sunday, July 27th @ 10 pm.

Where is....

2008-07-10T11:50:00.000-07:00

Where's Waldo is a series that children love!!
Here is another Waldo book...

There is even an adult version...Where the Hell is Matt?

55 Questions MeMe (Tag!)

2008-07-07T13:50:00.000-07:00

I've been tagged by my brother in law Jack Hampster & Company. He said I could "sort of" modify the MeMe - delete a line you don’t want to answer - and add a question.

*it's taken me almost a month to answer...but here it is!!

1Does someone love you? Yes
2Do you know anyone named Dave? Yes
3Ever kissed anyone with the name starting with a J? Yes
4Has anyone ever mistaken you for a family member? Yes
5What color is your parents bathroom N/A
6Do you think that hair extensions look skanky? Huh? Define "shanky"...
7Are you named after a grandparent? No
8Would you pass or fail a drug test given to you at this moment? Pass. I only take Doctor prescribed meds.
9Are you taller than 5′6"? No
10Do you know anyone in jail/prison? No, not at the moment.
11Ever see a dead body? Yes. And I have also been there with the person as they are "passing" away.
12Do you like the color green? Depends on the "hue"... Prefer "jewel" tones : )
13What is your best friend’s Dad’s name? Amador (was)
14How old are you? Huh? Oh...old enough.
15Who was the last person to send you a text message? My brother wanting to know what time I would be at my sister's house to take care of my aunt.
16Ever drove into the ghetto to buy drugs? I don't do drugs.
17Last restaurant you went to? Kabila's (Indian food...Mmmm!)
18What is the weather like today? VERY warm...expecting another HEAT wave!.
19Last voice mail you received? My husband
20What did you do yesterday? Spent time with my sister and aunt.
21What’s the first thing you would do with five million dollars? Pay off dept!
22What nationalities are you? Huh?! Do you mean "Nationality", "Ethnicity", or "Ancestry"? Nationality- American. I was born in the U.S., I am a U.S. Citizen, and I carry a U.S. passport... of Native American (Mexico), Spanish, and French (my uncle insists) ancestry, thereby, making me a "Mestiza". Ethnicity...Mexican-American, Hispanic, Latina, Chicana. However, I am ALWAYS confused with Mediterraneans and or Middle Eastern. Yes, I have always been "searched" at the airport...even before 9/11!!
23How many hours did you sleep for last night? About 6...
24Any upcoming concerts you want to attend? Not at the moment.
25Who’s the last person that you felt was stalking you? J. It got very "creepy"!! He followed me EVERYWHERE...but yet never uttered a word to me, just stared at me! My mom said he was just "shy". She actually liked him, and didn't understand why I didn't!! He came to my mom's house and spoke to her about his love for me...and his good intentions for me. My mom gave him permission to "court" me without my consent!!
26Have you ever been on your school’s track team? No
27What jewelry are you wearing? Wedding & engagement bands and earrings.
27If all of your friends were going on a road trip, would you go with them? Yes
29How much money do you have? Not enough
30Do you swear at your parents? N/A (NEVER crossed my mind to do swear or talk back! One time I "rolled" my eyes while my mom was yelling at me...and SMACK!! She slapped me!! Learned my lesson right there and then.)
31Is your phone right beside you? Yes
32Have you cried today? No
33Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now? Yes
34Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off? At the moment- slip ons!
35What is the color of your bed sheets? Today's...white. It's the thread count that counts, though. I like the "feel" of my sheets...and like the commercial- "Nothing comes between me and my sheets".
36Have you ever crawled through a window? Bathroom window at my mom's...no one at the time had a house key! (My mom had misplaced hers)
37Are you photogenic? So some say...I don't think so, though.
38What’s your star sign? Gemini (Rooster on Chinese Calendar)
39Where do you spend most of your money? Paying off DEBT! : (
40What was the last thing you did? Dismissed my class : )
41Do you have a tattoo? No, only scars...
42Is there a secret you’ve never told any of your friends? Yes...of course!
43Have you ever told someone you loved them but didn’t mean it? Yes...
44Have you ever changed your clothes while in a vehicle? Yes, I've dressed and undressed in the car as someone else was driving...
45What are you doing in 2008? Working, working, and working!!
46What is your ring tone? Serene- windchimes! monks chanting (hubby), waterfall (sister), calypso tune (Rosa)
47What were you doing at 2am last night? Sleeping
48Are your parents married/divorced/separated? Deceased.
49What are you doing tonight? Sleeping...I hope.
50What are you doing tomorrow? Working...again!
51Who did you last message on Myspace? I don't go there...nor do I have a "space" there, either.
52Does it annoy you when someone says they’ll call but never do? It doesn’t annoy me, but it does disappoint me.
53What did you dress up as for your first Halloween? I was dressed warmly...baby rabbit with floppsy ears (1 piece jammie)
54Favorite Disney movie? Too many to name...
55Should gas taxes be increased? No, I don't think this will solve the problem. Our planet has only an X amount of natural resources and if we don't conserve, they will cease to exist! Take the bees...if they cease to exist, so do we. Everything has a limit! It is unfortunate that when people planned for a city, they (those in power) didn't see the importance of making public transportation more accessible. (routes, frequency of stops/pickups, and time of day)

Feel free to add your answers to any and or all questions on your own site, or in the comments section.

Frustrated

2008-07-02T13:44:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to download pictures and music onto my new iPod without any luck...HELP!!

At first I thought it would be easier doing this task (downloading music and pictures) from my iMac at school/work rather than from our home's PC. But wait...that would 've been easy, and life is NOT easy, right?!

1. My iMac will not download iTunes onto my iPod because iTunes needs to be upgraded, BUT it can't be upgraded without an Administrator's authorization!!
2. For some (idiotic) reason or another, my saved pictures from my iMac can't be downloaded onto my iPod, either!! I don't know why, though...maybe it's just me.

So for now, my cute little red iPod (that my husband gave me as a birthday gift) is not in use...it's even engraged with my name!

*update 8:31 pm
downloaded (some) music & pics onto my ipod from our home pc...
hubby helped.
however, i still need to figure out how to do it at work/school...
i will have to wait, though, 'til i have "authorization".

Smoky Smoggy Air

2008-06-26T11:51:00.000-07:00

There are (still) over 800 fires burning in California!
The sky is NOT blue, nor does the air smell clean"!
It is actually UNHEALTHY to breathe!!

Today's air quality for the East Bay Area (where I live)...
Moderately Unhealthy Air, again!

Summer School

2008-06-25T11:52:00.000-07:00

I must remember that the reason why these children are attending summer school is because they are academically low, therefore, I shouldn't expect them to be working on "grade" level.

I am placing a big emphasis on Problem Solving (math) skills...

*There are no behavior problems...yay!
*There are currently 16 students in my class...yay!

Book Tag

2008-06-19T13:16:00.000-07:00

1. Pick up the nearest book.
1421 The Year China Discovered America by Gavin Menzies

2. Open to page 123.
Part II The Guiding Stars- Ch 4 Rounding the Cape

3. Find the fifth sentence.
The identity of the 'trustworthy person' would vitally affect the provenance and credibility of the notes on Fra Mauro's planisphere.

4. Post the next three sentences.
I was convinced that the person could only have been Niccolo da Conti. He was in Calicut when the Chinese junks berthed to offload passengers and cargo and take on supplies on their way across the Indian Ocean. The notes on Fra Mauro's map alluding to the voyage of the junk refer to 'the Isles of Men and Women', a peculiar name also used by da Conti in the account related to the papal secretary Poggio Bracciolini.

5. Tag five people, and acknowledge the person who tagged you.
No one tagged me...but Solitaire, Spo, TigerYogi, and Doug have posted this meme

*Feel free to borrow

I enjoyed reading the book tags...it gave little glimpses of what the book is about. There were a few times that I wanted more "text"...I guess I should go out and get the book.

The Mrpeenee Auto Haiku Tag Meme

2008-06-16T18:35:00.000-07:00

I've been tagged by TigerYogi... (tag was created by Mr. Peenee)

Here’s how it goes:
In five syllables, no more, no less, describe the worst movie you can think of.
*The latest was: Will Ferrell's Semi Pro... It was NOT my choice of movie! My husband wanted me to join him, so I went.
“Great music, no plot."

In seven syllables, no more, no less, describe your worst date.
*Before marrying, my now husband wanted to take me on a "romantic" outing to Big Sur. I said,
NO! He couldn't understand why...I told him I had been there before, and that I didn't do well on windy curvy roads. That I would get "car-sick"! Well, he insited we go...So we went, and I got horribly sick. Did he learn his lesson? NO! There were a few other outings on similar roads...even after I reminded him that I get SICK!!
“Curvy windy roads. I puke.”

In five syllables, no more, no less, describe the worst job you ever had.
*My parents taught us the value of getting an education by taking my sister and I to work in the fields/orchards during the harvest season (October). One of the worst was picking walnuts off the dry rocky soil! Besides the heat, it was your back, knees, and hands that hurt! We only did this one day...that's how bad it was.
“Rocky soil. Pain!"

Put it all together and you have a haiku of life’s low points.
“Great music. No plot. Curvy windy roads. I puke. Rocky soil. Pain!”

*feel free to borrow meme

Bittersweet

2008-06-11T11:42:00.000-07:00

Today is my students' last day of school...
I will miss them!

This is a good group of children...
they may be academically "low", but they're nice.

Behavior problems...
there is only 1 child with "issues" in my class.
Hopefully, the counseling sessions (as well as his parents) will help him do better.

*This year there were 140 Third Graders...and they were ALL nice and sweet. (except for 3 major behavior problem children- one being from my class)

The 5x5 (sort of) MeMe

2008-06-09T12:50:00.000-07:00

The 5x5 MeMe (Tagged by Indigo)

-- What was I doing five years ago?
a. teaching!
b. recuperating from foot surgery (?)
c.
d.
e.

-- Five Snacks I Enjoy:
a. papaya
b. black grapes
c. dried cranberries
d. sweet bread
e. ice cream

-- Five Things I Would Do If I Had A Billion Dollars:
a. pay off dept
b. buy a spacious & comfortable house
c. buy a fuel efficient car
d. help family
e. give to charity

-- Five Places I Have Lived:
I have ONLY lived in "ONE" City, CA
a. 5th Street
b. C Street
c. Sonora Way
d.
e.

-- Five Jobs I Have Had:
a. office clerk (while in High School)
b. field work (during harvest time- picking grapes on Saturdays alongside w/parents)
c. teacher's aide ("summer school" while in High School and College)
d. CA Certified Elementary Teacher (with Bilingual Emphasis)
e.

--Five NickNames Family & Friends Call Me:
a. Coco (or Soco)
b. Cocodrila
c. Coqui (or Soqui)
d. Coyito
e. Coquina

--Five Things I Have Learned From Experience:
a. life is too short
b. everyone is essentially "good" (yes, there are a few "bad" hearted people)
c. spend quality time with loved ones
d. don't be afraid to say- "I love you", or "I'm sorry"
e. love yourself

*Yes, I know...
I don't follow directions very well : )

*Feel free to borrow MeMe...

A Year Older

2008-06-05T09:45:00.000-07:00

My ME Day was a good day...

I think I'l make this a yearly tradition...
take my birthday as my ME Day.

Who ever said that getting older didn't hurt...LIED!!
I woke up on my birthday and my nose hurt! It was SWOLLEN!! And no, my name is NOT Pinnochio. At first I thought it was just a pimple. Then later on in the day I thought it was my sinus since I had spent a few hours out in the open green (cemetary). It really HURT at night! : (

No, I don't know what is going on with my nose,
but it still HURTS, and it is still SWOLLEN!!
I'm taking Sinus (Tylenol) meds. at the moment.
Hopefully, this will make my nose feel and look better.
If not, then I will need to see my doctor...

Happy Birthday To Me

2008-06-04T05:00:00.000-07:00

I'm taking the day off from work for a "ME" Day...

One of the things I'll be doing is going to the cemetary and spending time there-
cleaning my parents' tombstone, placing fresh flowers, and praying (reflecting, meditating, and more than likely crying).

I'll also be running errands, doing laundry, and maybe getting a massage...ahhh.

Dinner plans? My husband and I will be having dinner at home...Chicken Adobo over steamed rice. Mmmm!

It will be a leisurely day for "ME"...

This and That

2008-06-02T11:00:00.000-07:00

*It seems that we have a party every weekend....
when I was MUCH younger I loved partying after partying,
but now that I am older, just thinking of a party after a party tires me out!

*My Report Cards, GLIST and Title 1Forms, and End of Year Awards are complete...YAY!

*If you like Hot Dogs...we are having a Third Grade End of Year Picnic (on site)...YAY! I hope we are able to this every year. "Parent Involvement" is required, though, otherwise who will do the grilling, and help with the supervision? (personally, i don't care for hot dogs)

*I was recently (formally) informed that I will be teaching Summer School...Third Grade and in my own classroom. YAY! I won't be "lugging" things from one school to another, and "holding" them in my car's trunk 'til September!

*I've signed up for a Writer's Workshop class. (teaching "writing" to third graders) The good thing about this class is that it is given immediately before returning to work...thereby, the ideas are still fresh in the mind. Oh, and we get paid for attending the class! (4 days)

*I've read a detailed article outlining the different stages of Alzheimer's...It appears that my 84 year old aunt, whom my sibblings and I take care of, is in the beginning stage of 3. She, at times, has speech impairment, does not recognize herself in the mirror, and or lack control of bodily functions. This is aside from the most common- confussion, Sun Down Syndrome, constant repition, etc.

*Movies? Haven't had time to go to the Theater (too many parties!)...but I have seen: Sangre de mi Sangre ('Blood of my Blood' with English Subtitles). No, it's NOT a horror film, but a film about a son looking for his father in New York City.
I've been recommended to see The Orphanage...I think I'll see it sometime this week. (Maybe Wednesday)

*TV...saw Season Finales to Torchwood and Dr. Who. Yes, I'm also "addicted" to these shows, as well as to "MI-5"!

*I'm thinking of taking a ME Day on Wednesday : )

Early Morning Visit

2008-05-27T11:30:00.000-07:00

I was sort of awake, but not completely
But I was NOT completely asleep, either
As I am lying in bed, my mom approaches me
She calls out my name twice
Leans over to embrace me
I call out to her- Mamá, Mamá
And I hold her close to me
Holding her head close to mine
She tells me- Remember, I am always with you, and now let me bless you
I continue to hold her as she blesses me
Not wanting to let go of her, I kiss her cheek

*while this is happening...
there is no crying on my part, nor is my mom in any pain

*it was a good visit

Calling Dr. Carl Jung

2008-05-21T10:41:00.000-07:00

Dreams...
I dream in color
I dream in English, Spanish, and sometimes in French
I sometimes cry, laugh, sing, and scream while dreaming
I've also ran, flown, driven a car, and walked

A lot of times, though, I will analyse my dream while still dreaming

However...
In my last 2 dreams I have had the sense of smell
An orange in the first dream (NOT my favorite fruit, nor do I crave it, or eat it)
And tobacco (cigar) in my second dream (I do NOT smoke, nor have I been a smoker)
Neither scent brings back any memories, nor is disgusting

Hmm...
Anyone else out there dream with scents?
Anyone know what this means?

Meme- Mind Your Own Business

2008-05-15T16:00:00.000-07:00

A tag that I stole from Solitaire...
"Mind Your Own Business" (some very intrusive questions!)

Do you sleep in your bra?
No, I don't! I LOVE the "feel" of my sheets against my body...nothing comes between me and my sheets!! (Sometimes, if my feet are very cold, then I'll wear fuzzy warm socks.)

Do you enjoy drama?
Not if I have any part in it!! But I am interested in others' drama. They're like "soap operas", but in real life! Who needs T.V.?!

Are you a girly girl?
No, I don't think so...
I don't take bubble baths (but my husband does), nor do I carry make up in my purse (neither does my husband).
Was I ever a girly girl? Probably when I was much, much, MUCH younger!! Now I'm MENOPAUSAL!

Small or Big Purses?
I'm starting to use "big" again... Hmm, I wonder if there is a hidden message in this?
Oh, wait!! I am currently placing my medium sized bag, and lunch into my school bag (which is a gym bag that holds all of my school stuff). ALL goes into 1 BIG bag!! So I guess the best answer to this question is: Big!

Has anyone touched or smacked your butt?
Some were welcomed, appreciated and enjoyed; others were NOT!!
Done out of love, for love, temptation, and or just to "bother" me...

Have you ever been called a bad influence?
Me? A bad influence?! Of course NOT!!
Oh wait... Let me think... Uhhmm...
Yes...on my sister. She says I made her cut class when we were both in High School. I don't quite recall making her cut class...she tagged along!

Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery?
I'm NOT into pain!! I don't like being in pain!! Pain is NOT "normal"!! (Well, neither am I, but that's another post!)

I hope that I am able to "age" gracefully and with dignity.

By the way, is (permanent) Laser Hair Removal in this category? This, if I had the $$, I would do.

Do you like your life?
Yes, I do. I've a "good" life. Could it possibly be better? Of course!!

Did you just say I won the Lottery? (don't need much...just enough to buy a comfortable and spacious 1 story house, a car with excellent gas mileage, and then go on a nice, long vacation. i don't want to quit my job!)

Yay!!

2008-05-09T18:05:00.000-07:00

What a relief...CA State Testing is over!! Yay!! We can now get on with our "curriculum" and with bringing the school year to a close. Yes, it's time to work on our students' Report Cards...

Up-date on my little "thug"...Came back from suspension on Tuesday was suspended, again, yesterday!

He and a buddy took their (student/dull/1.5 inch) scissors from class to lunch. At lunch recess both boys went after another student and threatened him with their scissors! So my little "thug" and his buddy (also my student) have been suspended until next Tuesday. (all boys involved are 3rd graders)

*My little "thug" will be going to Counseling via Kaiser. Apparently, counseling at school is not enough...

Welcome!

2008-05-08T15:00:00.000-07:00

Let me introduce you to Sara and her boyfriend Mike...

Sara is a wonderful friend and co-worker. Yes, she's a teacher, too. She teaches 2nd grade...that wonderful year when children can't stop "tattling"!

She's been asking me, "So now that I have a blog, how do I make friends"?

"By visiting my links", I responded. "Then their links' links, and so forth...explore"!

So if you have a chance, please stop by her blog and say, "Hi".

National Teacher's Day

2008-05-06T11:02:00.000-07:00

Make sure you hug a teacher today...
it's the Day of the Teacher!

To tell you the truth...
I truly (still) love my profession.
It's not for everyone, though,
there's no money, or recognition,
except for the joy that you see in your students;
and their thirst for learning.
In one year, the child grows so much!!
Not only physically, but also emotionally as well as academically-
Life never ceases to amaze me!

Suspended!

2008-05-05T15:00:00.000-07:00

It upsets me when I have to remind children about keeping their body safe from strangers, and non- strangers. They're children, for heaven's sake! Children should always be safe, and feel that they are safe!

I had to remind my students:
+what "good" and "bad" touch is
+remember what is "right" and what is "bad"
+listen and trust oneself
+tell an adult if someone has hurt them in any way
+keep telling adults what has happened until someone is able to help you

Student A (my little "thug") touched Student B (sexually) inappropriately...
A wanted to show B how to "grab", "cup", "lift" his crotch-
B didn't know how to, nor was interested in learning how to-
A went into B's pants to show him how-
A started to cry-
Student C saw what was taking place-
C wanted to punch A-
Teacher saw commotion-
Teacher sent A, B, & C to the office-
A was suspended.

*Student A has been seeing the school psychologist for some time now. He is obviously seeing this behavior at home.

In all my teaching years, there have been only 3 other incidents of (sexual) inappropriate touching...and all were involving boys!
+boy rubbing his (exposed) penis against bathroom door
+boy continually rubbing himself against edge of desk and or hard surfaces
+boy uncontrollably placing his hands inside his pants during class time (constantly reminded him to keep his hands on the table where I ccould see them! parents were aware of the situation; took child to doctor; and had child involved extracurricular activities)

Testing

2008-05-01T14:50:00.000-07:00

We're in the midst of "Testing"...
Third graders take a test every day (in the morning) for 2 weeks!
To say the least-
The children are stressed!!
So what do the children do to become de-stressed?
Have playground fights!

a lot of my students' behavior is awful,
and all due to "stress"...
can't blame them!

Happy Reader Appreciation Day!

2008-04-24T15:05:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers of Teacher Estrella,
Thank you for the following:
* Bringing a smile to my face
* Bringing laughter into my life
* Letting me sigh
* Making me cry (sometimes)
* Allowing me to share my life with you
* Including me in your lives (via blog posts)
* Uplifting my spirits
* Making me feel loved and important
* Providing me with new friends/acquaintances
* Inspiring me to write

Thank you for visiting...
But most important of all-
Thank you for your friendship.

*Thank you MsABC Mom for this wonderful idea!

Open House

2008-04-23T15:48:00.001-07:00

We have Open House tonight...
I hope all of my students and their parents come.

It's also the night when I meet many of the Second Graders (and their parents)...
they come in, look around the classroom, and introduce themselves as possible future students of mine.

*yes, i've been busy

Bambi, the movie

2008-04-16T15:45:00.000-07:00

A few of my third graders thought they were too big to see Bambi. They actually whined and complained saying that it was a "baby" movie. What?!

Then I reminded myself that they are probably used to seeing "R" rated movies that contain language, violence, and subject matter not appropriate for children. Yet these movies were seen with parent permission!

It turns out that not one of my students had ever seen this classic. How sad.

Despite their initial outcry, everyone enjoyed today's "treat", except for 1 student whom I sent out to another class for being disruptive and rude. He is very obnoxious...a "thug" in the making, unfortunately.

And what did this movie have to do with 3rd grade curriculum or standards?
We are currently reading 2 Days in May by Harriet Peck Taylor which tells the story about a community helping the deer by taking them to a wildlife refuge.

*i cried throughout the movie

Scary

2008-04-14T12:29:00.000-07:00

I just recently heard on the radio the following prediction:
2 Income Couples...
85% chance that one person will lose their job the following year.

*i pray that my husband doesn't lose his job...
(nor i lose my mine!)

Denial

2008-04-11T15:23:00.000-07:00

Due to the state's budget cuts...
we will no longer have General Ed Paraprofessionals!

I'm hoping for a miracle.

*Positive Note
We just voted on our new 3 year contract : )
It only took 5 days of bargaining time : )
New contract was accepted by ALL : )
(no raises!)

thoughts

2008-04-08T15:40:00.000-07:00

el cuerpo se acaba
la vida se acaba
pero quedan los recuerdos

if i'm very quiet
if i'm in a meditative mode
i can feel my parents' presence

meme

2008-04-03T14:55:00.000-07:00

Took (borrowed) this from Tigeryogi sometime back...

What is in the back seat of your car right now? my gym bag
When was the last time you threw up? a few years ago
What’s your favorite curse word? "chingado"! ('f---' in spanish)
Name 3 people who made you smile today? student, co-workers
What were you doing at 8 a.m. this morning? at school/work taking attendance
What were you doing 30 minutes ago? having lunch
Where were you born? hayward, ca
Have you ever been to a strip club? no
What is the last thing you said aloud? i'll talk to you later
What is the best ice cream flavor? jamoca almond fudge
What was the last thing you had to drink? sip of coffee
What are you wearing right now? shades of brown
What was the last thing you ate? homemade minestrone soup
Have you bought any new clothes this week? no
Where were you last? teacher's lunch room
What’s the last sporting event you watched? live basketball game...warriors vs celts
Who won? warriors
Who is the last person you sent a comment/message while blogging? co-worker
Ever go camping? yes
Where do you live? s.f. bay area, ca
What song are you listening to? none
Do you tan? yes, but first i burn, then it becomes a tan...not purposely!!
Do you drink your soda from a straw? yes
What did your last text message say? i'll be home soon; i love you
Who’s your best friend? my husband, sister, and...
What are you doing tomorrow? working (have AM meeting)
Where is your mom right now? with my dad...protecting me
Look to your right, what do you see? door opened out to the 3rd gr. quad
What color is your watch? silver with gold trim
What do you think of when you think of where you live? it's grown so much
Ever ridden on a roller coaster? yes, and hated every moment of it
What is your birthstone? pearl and amethyst? (june bithday)
Do you go in at a fast-food place or just hit the drive through? drive through
What is your favorite number? 5
Do you have a dog? yes, two of them...chiquita & bolita
Last person you talked to on the phone? sister
Have you met anyone famous? yes
Any plans today? take care of aunt
How many states have you lived in? one...california
Ever go to college? yes! b.a./st. mary's college, teaching credential/csuh
Where are you right now? work
Biggest annoyance in your life right now? budget cuts in education
Are you struggling to forgive someone right now? no
Are you allergic to anything? long haired cats
Favorite pair of shoes? birkenstock's

*as always...
i am not "tagging" anyone,
but if you would like to answer the questions on your own blog,
feel free to use : )

3rd Graders in Today's News

2008-04-01T16:10:00.000-07:00

These children knew exactly what they were doing...
and that's what makes it scary!

Testing

2008-04-01T16:00:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year...
getting the students ready for CA STAR Test.

As teachers, we've done pretty much everything in our control...
it's now up to the students to give it their all,
to demonstrate how much they've learned this year!

*unfortunately, it feels that it's all about raising those scores!
where's the joy of learning?!
yes, i know...accountability matters.

Back to Work

2008-03-31T14:21:00.000-07:00

Mondays,
back to work after a vacation are always difficult...
Why would today be any different?

As usual...
I started off sort of "asleep", as were my students.
I couldn't recall everyone's name; and they too had forgotten what school is all about!

*i still love teaching!!

Thursday...Already?!

2008-03-27T19:48:00.000-07:00

Well, my week long vacation is coming to an end...
How I wish I wouldn't need to work!

Hmm, does anyone out there need someone with whom to leave a sizable inheritance too?
I'm available! : )

So what did I do this week?
Besides sleep, watch TV, and some spend time with my friends...
I also took care of my aunt.

*my husband's friend said to me that i look happier...
and i responded by crying.

6 Word Memoir

2008-03-19T15:30:00.000-07:00

spring
vacation
time for self
re-energize

I wasn't tagged, but I saw it on Ashley's Blog...
and thought I'd give it a try at writing a six word memoir.

Here are the rules:
1. Write your own six word memoir.
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like.
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post.
4. Tag more blogs with links.

*I'm not tagging anyone...

Summer Plans

2008-03-16T19:34:00.000-07:00

It's been a very long time since I last taught Summer School...

This year is different, though. I NEED to do something this summer, I NEED to keep myself busy and occupied (other than with my aunt).

Why this change in attitude? I am afraid that if I don't keep busy this summer, I'll become much more depressed than what I am already.

In the recent past, my summers were spent with my mom.

The Tudors

2008-03-03T10:53:00.000-08:00

I have just finished watching The Tudors (Season 1)...
And all I can say is, "Wow, I want more!"

The Tudors (Season 2) is set to begin March 30, 2008...
In the meantime, all I have is the trailer .

Train Jumping

2008-02-25T12:16:00.000-08:00

It's a sad fact-
hundreds of people leaving their native land in search of a better life, and many dying in the process.

Train Jumping...A Desperate Journey to the US

*article taken from Irasali's Domain

Para Ganar Obama...

2008-02-20T21:20:00.000-08:00

Enjoy!

New Purchase

2008-02-19T15:21:00.001-08:00

My husband and I each have a new cell phone!

My cell phone is RED, and his is gray. And yes, we'll be attending a "Blackberry" class this next Sunday afternoon.

Condolences

2008-02-15T12:30:00.000-08:00

It's close to 5 months since my mom passed away...
people are still calling and giving my sister, brother, and I their condolences.

Both my mom and dad were blessed to have so many wonderful friends...
they are missed by many.

Happy Valentine's Day!

2008-02-14T14:53:00.000-08:00

To all my friends here in "Blogville"...
Wishing you a wonderful Valentine's Day!!

A todos mis amigos de "Bloglandía"...
Deseandoles un muy Feliz Día de la Amistad!

We had our Valentine's Day party...
I am tired, drained, exhausted, "pooped"!
The children were EXCITED, WOUND UP, and FULL OF ENERGY!
They're home now, with their family...thank god.

Family

2008-02-11T16:35:00.000-08:00

I've noticed that I am now so much more protective of my brother, and sister...
I want to know their whereabouts, plans, and also meet their friends.
I'm concerned for their safety and well being!

Yes, I'm older than my brother and sister...

It's just the three of us now.

*my cousin is like our elder sister
*all her family (mom & sibblings) are in Mexico so she considers us her family

Hello My Friends : )

2008-02-07T15:20:00.000-08:00

Sun is shining...
I have a better outlook on life...
and looking forward to a holiday on the 18th!

Life is good.

My absence from the blogging world has been due to the following:

sick (cold...cooties from those darn kids)
tired (testing, deficiency letters, progress reports)
drained (caring for aunt)
tongue tied (nothing good or nice to say)

Update on Aunt

2008-01-22T12:13:00.000-08:00

O. M. G.!
My aunt is no longer taking "Aricept"...and what a difference!
A GOOD difference!!

She still has "dementia",
but at least she's manageable/controllable.
Yes, we do medicate her for anxiety and mood swings...
makes everyone's life just alittle bit easier.

doctor prescribed my aunt Aricept hoping it would help her condition...it didn't!
we gave my aunt Aricept for a month...
making it a month of hell for her, and for us!!

Frustrated

2008-01-17T14:00:00.000-08:00

I'm frustrated, upset, and STRESSED!
I constantly find myself praying (and crying) that God take my aunt...
then I feel "guilty" (that I have sinned) for feeling this way.

Yesterday, at her doctor's appointment, I signed the Do Not Ruscitate form...
She is 84, has dementia, but other than that, she's fine!
There is NOTHING wrong with her!!
It's just us, her caretakers, that are not doing too well...

I asked her doctor what our options were regarding her "care"...
His response was, "Yes, it's difficult taking care of someone as your aunt, but unfortunately, something (heart attack, stroke, etc) needs to happen to her before any nursing care facility can take her in".

Wlhat?! (I sighed and tried to relax so that I wouldn't burst out in tears.) So in the meantime, we the caretakers, go "crazy" and have a heart attack!! (high blood pressure)

Paying for private nursing care is too expensive for both my sister and I...

A friend suggested we try to find some sort of Senior Citizen Social Worker...
She also said that she would do the searching for us. : )

*positive note
i can cry with my friends
it's great having supportive friends

C.P.S.

2008-01-15T11:57:00.000-08:00

Child Protective Services (agency) was called for one of my students (and his two younger sibblings)....

Don't know all the details, but...
it appears that the parents are incarcerrated,
and that the children's teen sister (or an aunt) will sometimes looks after them.
They do not live in the same city where they attend school,
therefore, the children get lost coming to school.
The children are often "absent", or arrive LATE to school...
Yes, of course, without bathing, or having had breakfast!

*These are NOT bad children...
they just have a LOUSY home life!

*update...1/16
mom is now back home and is requesting a school "transfer" for their children

Lockdown Drill

2008-01-09T14:33:00.000-08:00

So besides having Fire and Earthquake Drills, we now have Lockdown Drills...
We need to practice how to shut ourselves in so that we may stay safe, and away from any harm.

We recently had a fatal shooting (after school on Dec. 21) amongst High School students (gang related) at a Middle School nearby (8 blocks away from the elementary school where I teach). ALL schools are now on "high" alert.

This incident upset me...both physically and emotionally. Schools are supposed to be safe!!

Birthday

2008-01-04T14:44:00.000-08:00

Today is my mom's birthday...
She would have celebrated her 74th birthday.
I miss her terribly!

Winter

2007-12-17T15:45:00.000-08:00

Looks like winter is here...gray skies, comfort food, rain, cold, frost...Brr!! I like it!

I'll be on vacation soon...and so will my sister. We still haven't gone through all of my mom's (and dad's) belongings...we'll be doing that during our time off from work.

Family members and close friends have asked for "mementos"...treasured by mom. My sister and I will gladly be obliging their request.

Lately, (since Thanksgiving) "life" has been even more difficult and painful for me. I am so glad that my sister will also have vacation when I do. I can't be alone!! What I am going through is no longer sadness, but depression. I've seen my doctor for this already...

I am told by family and friends that time heals...
I have to believe it!!

*reason why i haven't been blogging...
busy taking care of my aunt,
and being too depressed.

Brief Update

2007-12-07T15:50:00.000-08:00

Student R. (autistic child with severe behavior issues)
So they came and "observed" (approx. 5 min. in each class)...
They decided the child's correct placement is NOT with us.
*for more info...read previous post- Vacation

UCSF Medical Center
Went to my yearly visit with my oncologist...
ALL is well : )
Next visit...December '08

Emotional/Mental Well Being
I am questioning my purpose in life...
And crying alot!

Christmas Party (Work)
Our work/school's Christmas Party will actually take place in January...
It'll be a "Winter" Party!
Dinner at an Italian (local) Restaurant...Mmmmm!
Yes, each person pays their own, though!

While at my oncology appointment...
My doctor shared that he and his staff had held their Christmas Party the night before. They all went to dinner, and then afterwards to the Opera to see Madame Butterfly.

Ahem....
Sometimes I think I'm in the wrong profession!

He's back!!

2007-11-27T14:20:00.000-08:00

Elvis Crespo's latest CD (after a 3 year hiatus) is titled Regresó el Jefe (The Boss is Back). Yes, he's been missed!! *Recommend: Pintame (8th video posted on scroll at end of Regresó el Jefe)

I've also included Suavemente for your dancing pleasure, and mine! : )

Miguel Bosé

2007-11-22T10:54:00.000-08:00

I absolutely LOVE his music!! He is currently celebrating his 30th year as an accomplished singer. He is also an actor, bullfighter, and dancer!

The following is Miguel Bosé's official web site

*you can find Miguel Bose in Wikipedia (my computer is too slow, otherwise i would have linked it!)

Vacation!!

2007-11-18T10:55:00.000-08:00

It's great to have the entire Thanksgiving week off!!
I am going to sleep, relax, read, see movies, and take care of my aunt.

Tengo la semana libre...estoy de vacaciones!!
(El jueves EEUUcelebra el Día de Acción de Gracias.)
Voy a dormir, descansar, leer, ver peliculas, y cuidar a mi tía.

School / Work
Parent/Teacher Conferences went really well : )
I have only 2 parents with whom I still need to meet with, but they're scheduled for the week of November 26th...

New Student Info
Student M is epileptic!! What upsets me is that this important information is listed on her Emergency Form, but that the "office" neglected to give it to me. Huh?! Yes, I did speak to my Vice Principal, and IEP Team (for children with special needs). They too were surprised with the information.

Potential NEW student R. Student is "autistic" and has severe behavior issues...yet they want to place him in my class?! Yikes! I am NOT a Special Ed teacher!! They (District Office) say R. doesn't need a Special Ed teacher or classroom, that he'll come with his own aide, and that they (Disctrict Office and parents) would like to come in and observe me teaching. Hmmm.

Before responding to their e-mail, I spoke to my Principal and asked her if she knew about this possible "transfer"...she said, "No". She then advised me on how to respond to their request.

I responded to the e-mail (as my Principal advised) stating that I was NOT a Special Ed teacher, and that if they had any further questions to please speak to my Principal.

HA!! I immediately received an e-mail telling me that R. did NOT need a Special Ed teacher, and that they (District Office) were still interested in me!!

Upon reading the last e-mail...I take deep breaths and tried to relax. I realized that the District Office is going to do what ever they want to do, and that they are going to go about it their own way...without going through the proper channels!!

I quickly sought out our school's IEP Team and asked them what they knew about the possible transfer. Not only did know nothing about the matter, but they were upset (angry) with how the District Office was doing this. They also instructed me on how to respond to the Disctrict's latest e-mail ...

I informed the District the following info:
1. I "core" my class...and attached a copy of my daily schedule

2. PREP -Half my class is w/Rm 23, the other half is w/Rm 26...attached class lists, & weekly PREP schedule

3. My partner teacher's teaching and management styles are different from mine.

4. Please speak to my Principal, and IEP Team before you and R's parents come in to obseve both my partner teacher and me teach.

I have since then spoken to a few people (4) from R's school (including his teacher!)...Everyone was shocked to hear about the possible transfer! They all feel it's political, that the advocate, lawyer, and parents are NOT thinking about what is best for this child. R. needs to be placed in a Special Ed class where his needs (and behavior issues) can be met, and NOT be "mainstreamed" into regular classroom!!

*Yes, of course, I'll let you know what happens...

NEW show

2007-11-05T12:15:00.001-08:00

I am so hooked on Torchwood!!

Estoy fascinada con esta nueva serie en televisión: Torchwood.

Honoring My Ancestors

2007-11-01T14:34:00.000-07:00

I've been with the same primary care physician for a good 25 years!! Dr. S. was also my dad's and mom's physician as well. Therefore, he knows me very well : )

I finally went to see my primary care physician...
I've been sick, sick, SICK!! (cold, fever, headache, cough- yuck!)
The "over the counter" meds were not working!!

So I go to my appointment...
Doctor S. comes in, hugs me, and I cry.
We talk about my mom for a while,
thus making my medical appointment into a "therapy" session.
He told me that my mom had been a "good" woman,
and that I had been a "good" daughter to both my parents.
He then said that I should try and be like my mother...
to continue being a "good" person.
And I thought...this is what I've been asking myself.
Am I practicing what my parents taught me?

Today is All Saints Day, and tomorrow All Souls Day...
What better way of honoring my parents than by being more like them!

As for my medical condition...
I'm OK, just need to take antibiotics for a couple of days.

*The cemetary, where my parents are buried, will be having a Día de los Muertos celebration on Saturday. Yes, I will be attending : )

Overwhelmed

2007-10-24T12:20:00.000-07:00

Work is overwhelming!!
Just as I think that I've caught up with all the paper work required,
I realize that I am still so far behind!!

The end of the first grading period is November 9th...
and I do not have much data/information on the children.

Report Cards?! Yikes!!

i'm fine...
sometimes i cry, but i don't dwell on it.

i've been wearing some of my mom's clothes, jewelry, and her perfume.

i've also been questioned myself...
do i practice my parents' teachings? i do.

Weekend

2007-10-15T14:45:00.000-07:00

On Friday, a friend at worked asked me a simple question...
What are your plans for this weekend?

I wasn't able to respond with words...
instead I just cried uncontrollably!

I thought to myself...
I'll be doing the same thing that I've been doing for the past few weeks.
Going to my mom's house, and sorting through my her personal belongings.

It was a difficult weekend...
All I've been doing is "crying".

I've also been thinking...
Am I depressed, or sad?

What is Life?

2007-10-10T11:33:00.000-07:00

A few days before passing away, my mom asked me: What is life?

My response was...
Life is a little bit of everything-
joy and sadness,
happiness and tears,
pain and suffering,
love and despair,
but all a blessing!

Life is a gift from God!

My dear friends,
I ask you the same question...
What is life?

Unos días de fallecer, mi mamá me preguntó: Qué es la vida?

Mi respuesta fue...
La vida es un poquito de todo-
alegria y tristeza,
felicidad y lagrimas,
dolor y sufrimiento,
amor y desesperación,
pero todo una bendición!

La vida es un regalo de Dios!

Mis queridos amigos,
a ustedes también les hago la misma pregunta...
Qué es la vida?

Grieving

2007-10-01T16:13:00.000-07:00

And so the grieving begins...
the "rituals" (Catholic/Mexican traditions) have ended,
and the relatives, as well as the "close" friends, have left.

I am now alone...
with wonderful memories of my mom,
and with pain in my heart.

Her love, though, will continue to protect and bless me everyday...
I miss her!!

A New Life!

2007-09-22T01:15:00.000-07:00

Esperanza Ochoa-Estrella

Jan. 4, 1934 - Sept. 20, 2007

My mom passed away while being massaged, listening to soothing music, and surrounded by those who loved her.

It has been a very difficult and painful week...for everyone! There was a time (only 1!) that I doubted whether or not we had made the correct decision in choosing "Hospice", but in the end, I'm glad that we did choose "Hospice".

I can not thank you enough for all your kind words, prayers, support and love. Knowing that someone else is thinking about you makes "life" a little easier. With all of my heart, thank you!!

If you happen to be in the area...

All services will be held at Our Lady of the Rosary Church in Union City, CA.

Tuesday- Vigil (5 pm - 8 pm) and Rosary (7 pm)

Wednesday- Funeral Mass (10 am) and burial (11:30 am)

*it's one of my favortie photos...having Peet's coffee after her chemo

My Mom and Me

2007-09-15T15:49:00.000-07:00

Every minute shared with my mom is a blessing!

Cada minuto compartido con mi mamá es una bendición!

Telephone Call

2007-09-08T07:19:00.000-07:00

On Friday, I made one of the most difficult calls ever...
I called Hospice.

We'll be meeting with a (Hospice) representative on Sunday...
learning what the "program" is all about,
and, of course, answering any questions we might have.

Once we've (sibblings & me) discussed "Hospice" with the representative,
we will then include my mom in the conversation.
Ultimately, it will be her decision to accept or not "Hospice" care.

Sometime today (Sat.), though, we need to talk to my mom about The Advance Directive/The 5 Wishes...and the Durable Power of Attorney for my aunt. (the aunt who has dementia, but who has always lived with us)

Ayer, viernes, hice una de las llamadas más dificiles que jamás habia hecho en mi vida...llame a "Hospice".

"Hospice" es un programa, donde por ejemplo, ayudan al paciente a morir con dignidad, ayudan a la familia a aceptar el proceso de la muerte, viene una enfermera por semana o cada día (depende el caso) para ver como esta el paciente, y para ver si la medicina que se le esta dando al paciente es la debida según su "estado". Estoy segura que este programa existe donde quiera, pero no tengo idea cómo se le nombra a este programa en el mundo del habla hispana.

Mañana , domingo, un representante de "Hospice" viene hablar con nosotros...
vamos hablar sobre el programa,
y claro, para clarificar algunas preguntas que quizas tengamos.

Después de esta platica, mi mamá tendra que tomar la decisión sí aceptar o no la ayuda de "Hospice". Ella tiene la última palabra.

A Blessing

2007-09-03T09:48:00.000-07:00

I feel so privileged that God has given me time to be with my mother during her last days. We hug, cry, and bless each other. We talk...I bathe, dress, and clean her when she is soiled. I encourage her to eat, and I also massage her when she is resting. What better way of showing my love to her!!

Yesterday, my mom said she didn't want to eat anymore...
I asked her why.

mom (crying)- because look what happens each time I eat, I get "soiled" and you have to clean me! I've become a "nuissance"!

me (holding her head and kissing her)- you are not a nuisance. we take care of you, because we want to.

mom (crying)- why do I need to eat?

me (kissing her, and trying to stay calm)-you need to eat in order to give your body the nutirients it needs. even if you are only able to take 4 bites of solid food, it's nutrients for your body.

mom (crying)-I don't want to eat.

me (hugging her, and still trying to stay calm)- you do know what will happen if you don't eat, right?

mom (still crying)- no, I don't know what will happen. what will happen to me?

me (holding her head, and making eye contact)- you will die.

mom (crying)- what do I do?

me (hugging her, and crying)- you will always have that choice. the choice to say "No More!", or let God decide when you can no longer eat. These are your two choices.

me (hugging her, and kissing her)- remember...we LOVE you, and we want to take care of you. We don't want you to suffer...we are here for you, and we will NEVER leave you alone. what we are now doing for you is showing you how much we love you!! God has given us this opportunity to let us tell you how much yosu mean to us! how many sons/daughters aren't able to be with their parents in their final days or hours!! we are here with you!! and this too, is a blessing.

Friday...FINALLY!

2007-08-31T19:35:00.000-07:00

OK, so we've begun the school year... to a bad start.
Very first day, (8:03 am to be exact) parents ( M's mom & dad) were fuming at me.

They (M's parents) and M can't find me, or my class, out in the playground first thing in the morning. Once they figure out that we are in the classroom, the mom comes into my classroom and yells at me because they couldn't find me/us! And yes, she does this in front of my students.

After the mom stops screaming at me, I tell the mom that the child's school day begins at 8 am, and that I will collect the children from the playground at 8 am. I then continued taking roll call and ignored her presence.

She then went to get her husband, (probably from the car) and he too came into my classroom and yelled at me. I looked at him, waited for him to be quiet, and calmly told him also when the student's instructional day begins. At that point, I continued reading the story The Boy Who Would Not Go to School to my class and ignored him.

I hope they went and complained to my administrators.

On a brighter note...
I hope my husband bought us the winning lotto/lottery ticket!!

When it rains, it pours!!

2007-08-25T18:31:00.000-07:00

1. My abscence from the blogsphere this past week was due to:
having sprained my lower back (while bathing my mom) and being under the influence of some very powerful drugs for the obscene lower back pain it caused me.

I went to the ER twice!! And each day I went, they injected me with some good stuff!! I liked it!! I thought of going to the ER a third time, but I didn't. Yes, for that injection!! Anyway, I'll be starting Physical Therapy on Monday...

As for drugs...the only one I am now taking is Ibuprofin (800 mg) at night.

2. My mom didn't want to go see the oncologist...so my husband and I went to the appointment. No "new" news...a perscription for some liquid med to increase appetite, and a referral for a CT Scan. So next Thursday, my sister will take my mom for a CT Scan of the abdomen/pelvis.

The oncologist did say, that once the CT Scan was performed, he did want to see my mom. As far as "life expectance", he said that was up to God.

My sister and I suspect that the cancer has invaded all , or practically all of her abdomen. Presently, my mom is eating very, very, VERY little. (maybe 4 bites of something solid, and one Nepro/Boost drink) And yes, what ever she wants to eat, we give it to her, even if she's not supposed to have it according to the Renal Failure Diet.

3. Because of my bad back...I also didn't get to participate in any of the Professional Learning Days for teachers, nor did I do anything to get my classroom "ready" for school. Oh well...at least I'm walking. (more like baby steps at the moment)

Mom...Update

2007-08-16T20:49:00.000-07:00

I took my mom to her Primary Care Physician (Oncologist is on vacation) because she is not doing well. The doctor stated that the Cancer is too far advanced (you can actually palpate the mass in her tummy, and at times "see" the bulge!)...that there is nothing to do at this stage. His advice is to keep my mom "comfortable", and to let her eat whatever she wants. He also said that he didn't think she would make it past a month.

My mom does NOT know all the details...she knows that she has cancer, and that it is far advanced. She also knows that the discomfort she is feeling is due to the "liver". That's it!!

My mother wants to continue "fighting" this cancer! She asked me if the doctor had prescribed "anything" for her liver...he didn't.

As I told my sister and brother...Dr. S. (primary care physician) is NOT the Oncologist, this is NOT his "specialty", we didn't even go over her test results!

(My brother asked me if I had called our "family" to let them know what is happening with our mother. And no I haven't any of the relatives because I don't have all the facts...I want to talk to the Oncologist first, and then inform them of the "new" findings.)

On Monday, I will take my mom to the Oncologist, go over the results and talk to him at length. If he also says that there is nothing else we can do, I will then request a "happy" placebo pill for my mom. Her "hope" in a bottle...

Ultimately, no matter what the doctor's prognosis is, God has the last word. My mom has already beaten the "odds" by living beyond the "expected" 4 months (with chemo) that she was given last year in May!

I would like to close this post with my mom's word of choice... "Hallelujah"!

*Thank you for your kind words, love, prayers, and support. God's love is present and felt!

Hallelujah!

2007-08-12T19:53:00.000-07:00

My mom's health is deteriorating...
she has no appetite, nor does she want to take her meds.

My mom is now helpless...
she can't do anything on her own.

However, she is still a "role" model...
when in pain,
when she can't do something on her own,
when "eating",
or taking her meds,
her word of choice is Hallelujah!

I Can See Clearly Now

2007-08-08T18:09:00.000-07:00

I can see far
and I can see near.

I can read the signs on the freeway
and I can also see who's calling me on my cell phone while I'm driving!

I can see TV better
and I can also read the text on our home computer!

*i'm still having to remind myself that i need to make "adjustments",
but at least i'm not feeling "sick" anymore!

*my glassess are "progressives", and not "bifocals"

Oh My...

2007-08-05T11:47:00.000-07:00

Oh my...
I felt so sick yesterday
At first I thought I wouldn't make it to my mom's house (she's only 5 miles away)
That I would have to puke in my car!

I didn't...

By the evening...
My head hurt alot
And I felt that my motion sickness was not going anywhere!

Today is better, thankfully...
but getting my brain and eyes adjusted to bifocals is a pain!!

*i am very sensitive to motion
*my glasses are "cute" and trendy, though

Nothing to do?

2007-08-03T17:01:00.000-07:00

If over the weekend you find that you have nothing to do, or are bored...I recommend you see the following great (my opinion) movies:

The Bourne Ultimatum- pure ADRENALINE!!
This is England- the 80's, Thatcher (politics) and skinheads...through the eyes of an 11 year old child.

Enjoy the movies, I certainly did!

I'm Here!!

2007-08-01T11:58:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm here...busy at times, and other times with a "sick" computer!

I am spending alot of time with my mom and aunt...making sure that they take their meds and eat. I'm also taking them to their various doctor appointments, as well as going to my doctor appointments before going back to school/work.

i've got a few secrets to share...
i now need to use bifocals
i've been letting my mom eat what ever she wants, as long as she eats

I've read...
Inez del Alma Mia by Isabel Allende conquest and colonization of Peru and Chile
The Expected One by Kathleen McGowan MaryMagdalen, and her gospel...wow!!

Movies I've seen...
Transformers not my choice! went to see it only to be "social"
Hairspray i LOVED it!!
DramaMex i expected more...or maybe it's just me
Libertarias Spanish Civil War (early part of)

*i'm already having back to school/work nightmares!!

My Mom

2007-07-20T10:22:00.000-07:00

This picture was taken about a month ago (after her hospital stay for septic blood infection & 3 pints blood transfussion)...She had just had her hair cut, manicure & pedicure, and we were (my sister, 2 cousins, aunt, and myself) sitting down for "brunch"- it was one of her "good" days.

As of right now...her health is "stable", and has (again) received another 2 pints of blood just a few days ago.

Introducing...Kitty.

2007-07-17T11:39:00.000-07:00

This conversation took place at the Vet's while purchasing flea meds for Chiquita and Bolita...

I also need flea meds for a cat.

Cat's name?
I dunno...

What's on her tag?
Doesn't wear a tag. We just call the cat "Kitty".

Age?
I dunno...it just appeared at our home, and has decided to make it hers.

Male or Female?
I dunno...hasn't had a litter since we first saw the cat over 2 years ago.

Male.
I guess...

What kind of cat?
I dunno...it has all sorts of colored spots- white with black, brown, and yellow spots.

A "Calico".
If you say so...

Owner's name?
Huh? I guess, the cat will be under my husband's name, just like Chiquita & Bolita. Oh, and by the way, Kitty is Bolita's friend. They play together!

*Turns out that "Kitty" was my husband's (1st) stepmom's name...he, he, he. I wonder how she's taking this? Is she rolling in her grave because he's laughing about this, or because she's so upset? And no, "Kitty" (cat) was NOT named after Kitty (stepmom)...it's just coincidence!

Tickets

2007-07-17T10:08:00.000-07:00

My sister has invited me (to tag along) with her and her friends to see Alejandro Fernandez, El Potrillo, in concert. Yes, of course, I'm going!!

Mi hermana me ha invitado al concierto de Alejandro Fernandez, El Potrillo de México. Por supuesto que me le voy a colar a mi hermana y sus amigas!! El concierto es para el 1 de septiembre.

Time...

2007-07-15T00:25:00.000-07:00

I went to my friend's 5oth birthday party. It was a HUGE party!! Music, food, dancing, and lots of friends and a few people I hadn't seen since I was 17 years old!! One came up to my sister and me and said that he could recognize my sister anytime and anywhere, but not me. Huh?! I don't think I've changed that much, or have I?

Acabo de llegar de la fiesta de cumpleaños de mi amiga Aída...festejamos en grande sus cincuenta primaveras!! Hubo música, mucha comida sabrosa, y baile. Algunos de sus familiares no habia visto desde hace mucho, pero mucho tiempo. Por cierto, hubieron unos que no reconocí... Le pregunte a mi hermana si nosotros tambien habiamos cambiado. Mi hermana, mientras discretamente apuntaba a varios sujetos, me dijo que sí, pero que otros habian quedado "disfigurados" con el tiempo.

*The only thing missing from this party was the song I Like to Move It. I think it's great dancing music!! (lots of energy and fun!!)

2007-07-12T08:46:00.000-07:00

My husband and I have been going to the gym 4-5 days a week since I've been on vacation. We walk over to the gym and exercise (aerobic, and or weights) for about 40 minutes. Without taking any meds...my blood pressure is very good, as is my glucose...haven't checked my cholesterol level, yet. I expect my cholesterol level to be much better than before. Maybe even told by my doctor not to take any meds for it! And all thanks to "exercise"! However, I have yet to lose any pounds!! Hmmm....could it be that I need to eat less?!

Desde que estoy de vacaciones, mi esposo y yo hemos estado haciendo ejercicio (aerobico y o pesas) de 4-5 dias por semana, aproximadamente 40 minutos cada sesión. Nunca he tomado medicamentos para la presión ni para el azúcar, y ahora con el ejercio estan super bien!! Dentro de poco me voy hacer estudios de cholesterol...espero que mi doctor diga que ya no es necesario tomar "vytorin". Y todo debido a que estoy haciendo "ejercicio"! A pesar de todo, no he perdido ningún kilo!! Sea por dios...sera que tendre que comer menos?!

Are You Ready?

2007-07-06T10:15:00.000-07:00

So for the next several weeks our TV will be on for practically 24 hours a day. My husband will be glued to it, because heaven forbid he miss something!!

Let's see...he will see the "Live" version of the Tour de France (while taping it for later viewing to repeatedly see that "magical" moment) as well as the shorter versions during the day, plus all the "Tour" specials, interviews, and daily internet updates. Oh, and then he'll call his friends and talk about the "Tour", it's racers, and the politics of this race.

I guess you can tell that my husband is a cycling fan...

Me? I will try and watch the "Live" version ONLY!! I especially like, though, the final stage when they enter the city of Paris while drinking champagne. Yes, while riding their bike!!

Here is a glimpse of last year's Tour de France...enjoy!

Summer Vacation

2007-07-02T19:21:00.000-07:00

How am I spending my vacation?
Helping with the caregiving...
for both my mom and aunt.

There are times when all I want to do is cry..
my aunt (83 years old w/dementia) tires me out,
and my mom doesn't want to eat much of anything.

Yes, I am stressed.

De vacaciones, gracias a Dios...
para poder ayudar con el cuidado de mi mamá y de mi tía.

Muchas veces llego a casa tan estresada...
con dolor de cabeza y hecha un mar de lagrimas.
Mi tía (con su demencía) y mi mamá que no quiere comer...
me cansan.

Cuando lleve a mi tía a su cita médica, le voy a preguntar a su doctor que se puede hacer para evitar o disminuir los síntomas de la demencia...pues parece que hay varios familiares cercanos (por el lado de mi mamá) que padecen de este mal. Y si, tengo miedo que yo también algún día sufra de este mal...la demencía!

El Juego de Ocho

2007-06-24T11:25:00.000-07:00

José, de Realidad Novelada, me ha invitado a que participe en el juego de OCHO...y pues no me puedo negar. El juego consiste en poner ocho cosas que nunca he contado.

REGLAS DEL JUEGO:
A. Cada jugador comienza con un listado de 8 cosas.

B. Tienen que escribir esas 8 cosas en su blog y junto con las reglas del juego.

C. Tienen que seleccionar a 8 personas mas invitar a jugar y anotar sus nombres o el nombre de su blog.

D. No Olviden dejar un comentario en sus blogs respectivos de que han sido invitados a jugar, refiriendo al post de tu blog “EL JUEGO”.

E. Prepárense a conocerme totalmente…

1. No he pisado tierra Mexicana en casi 20 años! Antes me pasaba todo el verano con mis parientes en Guadalajara. Usaba la "Perla Tapatia" como punto de partida a otras ciudades de México llegando a concer varias regiones importantes de este bello pais. Lamentablemente, por razones X e Y no he regresado a México...pero espero pronto estar en la tierra de mis padres. ☺

2. Dentro de mi matrimonio extraño mi idioma (español) y mi cultura/tradiciones. Mi esposo sólo lleva el apellido hispano, pero de "hispano/latino" nada tiene! Cuando discutimos, quisiera comunicarme plenamente con él en español, el idioma en el que pienso y siento.

3. Naci en los EEUU, pero la gente que no me conoce bien piensa que naci en México...muchas veces asi los dejo pensando.

4. Pienso en la "muerte"...quizas mas que otras personas, simplemente por la gravedad en la que se encuentra mi mamá.

5. Mis amigas piensan que soy "geek" por que tengo un "blog". En la realidad, estoy muy lejos de ser "geek"...

6. De joven me decian que tenia el cabello negro. Y mi respuesta era...negro como mi suerte. Ahora traigo mi cabello cafe/rojizo, pero mi suerte sigue siendo "negra".

7. Cuando regrese a México, quiero compartir con mi esposo lo que es México a ver si asi se hace aunque sea un poquito "mexicano". ☺

8. Me gustan las emociones fuertes...al igual que el café y el buen tequila!

Y bien, siguiendo pues con las reglas, debo yo elegir a 8 personas e enviarles este juego. Pero como yo casi nunca sigo las reglas de los juegos (o leo instrucciones/recetas, etc) por favor anótense quién quiera ☺
I.
II.
III.
IV.
V.
VI.
VII.
V III.

The NEW 7 Wonders of the World

2007-06-22T11:44:00.000-07:00

Have you voted for your 7 yet?
I just did... : )

If you would like to vote, or would like more information, please go to the following: The New 7 Wonders

*The results will be known to the world on July 7, 2007.
Why not be a part of history and vote : )

7 Random Facts

2007-06-19T19:42:00.000-07:00

I've been tagged by Yamell at Chronicles of a Chubby Mexican Girl

Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write their own blog with their 7 things as well as these rules. You need to tag 7 others and list their names on your blog. Remember to leave a comment for them letting them know they have been tagged and to read your blog.

1. I love summer, but NOT the heat! Well, actually...I love summer because I'm on vacation, and I wish it were just it alittle bit cooler. When I think of traveling, I first think of the weather for that area.

2. I wish I could win the lotto, but I guess I should play it in order to win. My husband plays it, but hasn't won anything. Before we married he used to tell me how lucky he was...that he always won at different kinds of games, raffles, etc. Apparently, his luck changed when he married me.

3. I don't drink coffee during the summer. I only drink it during the school year...it relaxes me. And I like my coffee to taste like coffee... Mmmm : )

4. My husband says I snore, but I refuse to believe him! (he, he, he)

5. I can easily become a "night-owl". There's so much to see on TV during the evening and into the night. Everything is OFF by 9 pm during the school year...so I miss alot of the shows. No, I don't tape them because I don't have the time to watch them.

6. I don't have a summer reading book, yet! It's not like me...I LOVE to read!

7. I now carry my little hand held solitaire gadget with me everywhere I go. My husband gave it to me... : ) So I guess he's helping me become a solitaire addict. Hmmm.

Whom to tag? You! You're "it"!! Well, only if you want to play...

New Link

2007-06-15T20:42:00.000-07:00

For those of you who read Spanish, or have a "translator"...
Revoluciones is a very interesting site that I just found. Check it out!

Recien encontre Revoluciones. Me gusto, esta bien escrito, ademas es muy informativo!

Ahhh

2007-06-15T10:05:00.000-07:00

Vacation has begun...
and it feels so good! : )

They're Gone...YAY!

2007-06-14T21:28:00.000-07:00

What a way to end the school year...
J. fighting R. J. getting suspended and R. in tears.
R. stealing (again!) from classmate.
D. (devil child- damien) being arrogant & talking back.
Joy (who is NOT a joy!) triping A. purposely (in the classroom).
And this, my friends, was how my class acted today, a minimum school day. I couldn't wait for them to leave!! My "lovelies" now belong to the 4th grade teachers...they've been warned.

One More Day

2007-06-13T14:22:00.000-07:00

Just one more school day...
I can't wait to say "Good bye" to this class!!

Busy

2007-06-12T11:10:00.000-07:00

I've been busy, busy, BUSY!!
My report cards, teacher plans, and other paper work required by the school/district/state are all complete. (sigh)

The students' last day is Thursday...we (students and teachers) can't wait!!

The teachers' last work day is Friday...YAY!!

Mom Up-date
She is still in the hospital, but in "stable" condition. Her "discharge" date is tentatively set for Wednesday, June 13th. And upon her return home, she will continue with dialysis, as well as with the meds prescribed by her doctors. However, chemo treatments have been suspended for the time being. Her oncologist wants to wait 2 months, then do a CT Scan to determine whether or not renew chemo...